Being Mina Read online

  "Hey," he said waving at a gray Chevy Impala that passed going the opposite direction. "Remember when we first got together?"

  "When you pulled my hair on the playground in first grade?" Mina said.

  "Not that time, the last time."

  "On my eighteenth birthday?" Mina said unable to keep from smiling. "Of course I remember."

  "You were at the club sitting at that table all alone."

  Mina rolled her eyes. "Give me a break. I wanted to finally see the inside of a nightclub."

  "You looked so out of place."

  "Trust me, I know."

  "I've been having that out of place feeling lately." Bryan pulled into his driveway and pressed the garage door opener.

  "Why?"

  Bryan shrugged. "I guess I feel weird because you got accepted to all those out of state schools and shit. You're valedictorian and I'm not even going to graduate."

  Mina tried to squelch the feeling of panic rising in her throat. "I thought you were going to summer school."

  "I was, but I don't know if I want to spend what could be the last few months we have together in school all day."

  "Don't talk like that," Mina sighed blinking back the tears that had quickly formed.

  Bryan got out of the car and Mina followed him into the house. Their awkward silence was broken as soon as they stepped into the kitchen.

  "Mina!" Layla squealed from her high chair.

  "Thank goodness you're back!" Linda called from the living room. "You're dads stuck in the store because your brother decided not to show up this afternoon. He has a doctor's appointment and needs someone to watch the store for him."

  Bryan sighed. "Come on, ma, you know I don't know shit about tools. Why can't one of his kids do it?"

  Linda rolled her eyes. "Junior is in prison. David is two hundred miles away taking finals at State. Brenda is on her honeymoon and Andrew's bitch wife hates it when he ditches her with their two kids. You know she thinks he's way too involved with his family." She ticked her husband's kids off on her fingers one at a time.

  "Damn," Mina muttered. "She is a bitch."

  "I know, right!" Linda said glancing at Mina. "Promise me you won't turn into a bitch if you marry my son."

  Bryan groaned. "Nobody is getting married," he snapped. "I'll cover the store until Logan gets there. I've got some business of my own to take care of before I take Mina home."

  "I wouldn't count on your brother showing up. Last time I talked to him he was at Sandie's house. Now that she's already pregnant, they can fuck all damn day and you can bet money that's what his ass is doing."

  Bryan groaned again. "How long is this doctor's appointment?"

  "It's just an hour, honey."

  "I gotta go," Bryan told Mina as he turned to walk back out the door they'd just entered. "We'll talk later."

  "I'll be here," Mina said trying to keep her voice light so as not to alert Linda that there was anything going on.

  "What's going on with the two of you?" Linda said as she cleaned up the Cheerios from Layla's high chair.

  Damn. "Nothing," Mina said quickly, her voice high-pitched and squeaky.

  Linda rolled her eyes. "You're not one of my kids," she said as she grabbed a sponge. "You don't have to lie to me."

  Damn. "I think Bryan's upset that I'm valedictorian."

  Linda stopped cleaning and gave her a hug. "Honey, that's wonderful."

  "That's what I thought," Mina said with a sigh.

  "Listen, Bryan's just feeling like an ass because he slacked off so much and has to finish school over the summer. He's not as into school as you."

  "I know," Mina said picking up Layla and giving her a hug. "I don't care that he's not that into school. I know he doesn't want to go to college, but why should we break up because I do want to go to college?"

  Linda dropped the sponge into the sink and sighed. She turned to look at Mina and gave her a tired smile. Mina noticed how old she looked at that moment. She had slight crows feet and tiny dark circles under her crystal blue eyes. Her laugh lines etched into her forehead and cheeks as she frowned. "Listen to me, honey."

  Mina nodded.

  "I know that Bryan cares a lot about you, but do you have any idea how many high school sweethearts actually make it?"

  Mina shook her head.

  "It would make me so happy if my son came to his senses and finished school and went to college, but that's not who he is but it is who you are. I am so proud of you for being first in your class and having your pick of any college you want but I know that the difference between you two will have a serious affect on your relationship."

  Mina ducked her head to hide the tears she felt building.

  "Just don't let him be a dick and break your heart," Linda said taking Layla from her. "Then, I'll have to kick his ass."

  ***

  Mina got out of her mother's silver Lexus and hurried up the driveway to Bryan's house, her blue robes billowing behind her. It wasn't that her mother was a bitch; she just didn't have any interest in meeting Bryan's family face-to-face. Diana Jordan knew that this boy would be out of her life as soon as Mina left for Harvard or Yale. There was really no need in her having to be cordial to his parents after that. Therefore, it was better that she had no idea what the hell they even looked like. Well, maybe it was that she was a bitch.

  Linda opened the kitchen door when Mina knocked.

  "I just wanted to give you your tickets to graduation," Mina said handing her a plain white envelope.

  Linda accepted it and smiled. Why couldn't her actual daughter-in-law be as sweet as this one? "Thanks honey. You know Bryan's playing sick right?"

  Mina nodded. "I didn't think he'd be there, I'll just tell my mom he's sick and that's why he won't be walking tonight."

  Linda nodded. "You look like you actually are sick." She placed the back of her hand on the young girl's clammy forehead.

  "I'm just tired," Mina said with a shrug, "and nervous about this whole speech thing. I was puking my guts up this morning."

  Linda frowned.

  "Don't worry," Mina said quickly, "my stomach is better now."

  Linda's frown deepened.

  "What's wrong?" Mina asked.

  Linda decided against saying what was on her mind. "You left your honor cords in the living room yesterday. I'll get them for you."

  ***

  Mina had never been so scared in her life. The slight case of nerves she'd had before giving her Valedictorian speech, which had received a standing ovation, didn't compare to this torture.

  Linda had handed her the box as soon as she and Bryan had come in from the garage that afternoon. They'd just returned from getting him signed up for summer school when his mother presented them with a pregnancy test.

  "Oh my God, ma!" Bryan snapped. "What the hell?"

  "Just take it," Linda had sighed.

  "I swear to you, Linda, we use condoms every time." Mina felt shame rising in her throat.

  Linda just shook her head. She looked more pale than usual as her eyebrows drew together in concern. "Nothing is a hundred percent, Mina, just take the test."

  "Fine," Mina said with a shrug. "If it'll make you feel better."

  Now, Mina was the one concerned. She sat on the side of the tub holding the pregnancy test and staring at it so intently that she nearly jumped out of her skin when the timer dinged.

  Bryan paced the hall in front of the bathroom door. He was so pissed at his mother, they'd promised her they were being safe, and here she was forcing his girlfriend to take a pregnancy test. How could she be so untrusting? He wasn't his brother. Logan was the fuck up. Logan was the one who couldn't keep it in his pants. Bryan and Mina had been dating for months before they did anything even remotely sexual. He'd waited for her. He'd respected her and he'd used protection every time.

  He stopped pacing when the bathroom door creaked open. Mina leaned against the door jam staring at the white stick in her trembling hand. "It's blue," she
said, her voice cracking. "It's blue!" she said louder.

  Bryan blinked. He didn't know what that meant. What the hell did blue mean?

  "LINDA!" Mina shrieked. "IT'S BLUE!"

  "SHIT!" Linda screamed from the kitchen.

  Bryan's heart sank. His mother's reaction left no question. They were in deep shit.

  Mina nibbled her Saltine and squeezed her eyes shut. She wanted to sink through the floor and disappear. She just wanted it all to go away...and not just the baby.

  At the moment she was sitting in a place she never imagined she'd be in her life. The waiting room was so bright, the florescent lights, white walls, and beige plastic chairs came together in a way so harsh it was blinding. The whole environment was so accusatory. She felt like she was under a bare bulb in a dark interrogation room. "I'm guilty!" she wanted to scream. "Yes. I had sex and now I have to get an abortion. I'm so, so sorry!"

  "Open your eyes," her mother hissed from the chair beside her. "Look where you've landed yourself!"

  Mina looked at her mother and quickly away. Diana sat in that horrible chair in that horrible white room looking as refined as ever. She surveyed the room with her chin tipped up as if she was Cleopatra. Her medium brown skin was even and smooth, she didn't even need pantyhose over her crossed legs. Her shoulders weren't hunched like Mina's. Even the stiff bun she'd pulled her black hair into looked pissed. She sat there ram-rod straight, her two piece black business suit didn't dare wrinkle as she bounced her red Chinese Laundry heel. Only her mother could wear hooker-red shoes with a black outfit and not look like a total slut...even in an abortion clinic.

  Mina glanced at the girls around her, obviously just as freaked out as she was. A waif of a white girl with deep red hair and ivory skin sat almost directly across from her. She must have been around fifteen and was flanked by her own angry-looking mother, caught her eye and smiled. The smile was sad, but somehow reassuring. Mina smiled back, hoping hers was equally comforting.

  The door opened and Mina snapped her head around to see who had broken the eerie silence. Bryan walked in and scowled when Mina stood. Diana stood too and pushed her daughter back into her seat with a firm hand on the shoulder. "What the hell are you doing here?"

  Bryan seemed to balk at her question. He decided to ignore her instead addressing Mina. "What are you doing?"

  "She's getting this problem fixed!" Diane snapped.

  "Mina, you're going to kill my kid?" Bryan's voice was strained.

  Diane scoffed. "You get my daughter pregnant and expect her to give up on her life so she can give birth to your child? You must be crazy!"

  "Look," Bryan almost yelled. "I'm not talking to you! Mina is eighteen and an adult. She can think for herself."

  Mina watched her mother take a step back. She was quite sure no one had spoken to her mother, the ball-breaking, money-making, no-shit-taking attorney, like that in a hell of a long time.

  "Don't do this," Bryan said falling to his knees in front of her chair. He grabbed Mina's hands from her lap and pressed them to his lips.

  Mina's heart felt like it was breaking for him. She'd never seen Bryan so upset. He'd practically yelled at her mother and she'd never seen him raise his voice to anyone besides his brother Logan.

  "Don't kill this baby before we have a chance to talk about this. We can work it out."

  Mina tore her stare away from him and focused on her mother's deep scowl, and then back at Bryan's bowed head.

  "Don't you dare," Diana seethed through clenched teeth.

  "Bryan," Mina said around the lump in her throat. "I can't raise a kid and go to college."

  Bryan turned his eyes upward and Mina saw tears there. "Just come home with me...right now." He stood quickly, pulling her against his chest so swiftly, she lost some of her breath. He kissed her. It was deep and searching as if his tongue was trying to coax her into listening to his unspoken reasoning. His large hands held her waist and she moaned in spite of herself and the waiting room full of onlookers. Mina was panting by the time they parted.

  "Mina!" her mother snapped when she turned for the door. "Do NOT do this!"

  She felt like she was drowning, suffocating...she couldn't breathe. She felt her mother's fierce gaze bore into her back and all the girls around her stared with mouths open. Her heart pounded so fast it seemed that it was going to leap from her chest. The only thing keeping her afloat was the vice grip Bryan had on her hand. His touch kept her knees from buckling as she disobeyed her mother for possibly the first time ever. She let him lead her from that stark white prison and straight to his car.

  They rode to Bryan's house in silence. There were no words after what had just happened. He knew she was anxious about the fact that she'd just stood up to Diana. As long as they'd been dating, he'd never witnessed Mina challenge her mother. No matter what Diana demanded, her answer was always, "Yes, ma'am." Publicly embarrassing her mother, then leaving her in the dust was a big fucking deal.

  Mina was scared. She knew her mother couldn't technically do anything to her...like Bryan had said, she was an adult. However, without her mother on board, the whole baby thing would be a million times harder. She could very well end up right back in that waiting room after she and Bryan "talked" about it.

  She followed Bryan into his house and Linda came running to the kitchen door, gathering Mina into an overpowering hug. "I'm sorry, honey. I just had to tell him."

  "I know," Mina whispered. Mina's mother had insisted on calling Linda that day to tell her about the appointment. Diana had thought she was merely informing Bryan's mother of how things were going to go when she called that morning but Mina knew that Linda was not going to stand by and let her future grandchild be killed. As soon as she hung up the phone, she'd light a fire under Bryan. No matter that they hadn't had a decent conversation in the week since they'd taken that pregnancy test. Linda would make sure that her son did the right thing by Mina. She hadn't expected him to beg or cry the way he had, but it had been a nice bonus.

  Bryan waited for his mother to let go of Mina before taking her hand again and leading her into the living room. Mina loved the common area of the Dillinger house. They were filled with the personalities of everyone in the family. Don, a martial artist, had long Samuri swords crossed over the fire place, dozens of geisha statues and jade dragons about, and a set of matching Buddha statues on each side of the television. Linda, in spite of her foul mouth, was the picture of feminity with her silk flower arrangements, doilies, and porcelain figurines...not geishas but a massive collection of Royal Daulton women in full skirts holding fans or parisols and such. On every wall and table were countless pictures of their family. Everyone was in that room, Dan's four kids from his first marriage, Bryan, and Logan were all there. Plus there offspring and a half dozen gray-haired people Mina couldn't keep straight. The furniture was soft and lived in to the point that she almost fell asleep if she stayed on the couch for more than thirty minutes.

  Bryan went straight for the wooden box on the table behind the couch. It was the mail-drop box. With so many people going in and out of the house and receiving mail there no matter how long ago they moved out, that was the safest way to make sure everyone got their mail. After pulling out a blank white envelope he tore it open and handed her the paper inside without even glancing at it.

  "Why did you do this?" she asked so quietly she barely heard herself. She was staring at the results of multiple STD tests Bryan had done.

  "I just thought..."

  Mina frowned. "You thought since I was already pregnant, we can just fuck all day like Logan and Sandie? You assumed that I would keep this baby and give you nine months of ass without the need for birth control?" Her voice was a frightening whisper.

  "No...well...yes. I didn't think you were going to get an abortion. So I wanted you to know that you're safe."

  Mina sighed. "Why would you even think that? We haven't spoken in over a week. Not since we found out..." "I know. I know. I fucked up. I should have
called you or come by but I wasn't ignoring the situation or anything. I've been working on stuff...stuff for us."

  Mina frowned. "What kind of stuff?"

  "I got appointments to look at apartments just off campus so we can move in together. That's if you go to Adams here in town, but if you decide to go to an out of state school, I'll move there with you. Mom will shit a brick, but it's really not up to her." Bryan's words came out rushed as if he'd been rehearsing them. "This is a big fucking deal and I know that. I'm finishing school. I've actually gone to class every day and been on time."